I thought you were looking for truth?

As I stated earlier secular world ( for last century or so) is not putting this world in a better place so what ever you believe do you have some way forward like if pure rationality is failing; where we failing . Instead of keep banging your head on bad experience you have with Christianity .

Also as mentioned earlier every religion core message is Monotheism , so what Christians have today is not what Jesus preached . So if you really have a problem with Christianity you should try to find what Jesus actually preached